What’s Holding You Back? Common Barriers to Joining a Peer Group (And Why It Might Be Time to Rethink Them)

By Kristen Heaney

What’s Holding You Back?

Joining a peer group can feel like a big step, especially when family, identity, and wealth are part of the conversation. At In Three Generations, we see firsthand how transformational these groups can be. But we also know that getting there isn’t always easy.

If you've ever hesitated to join a peer group, you're not alone. Below are some of the most common barriers we hear - and our reflections on how to move past them.

1. “I don’t want to share personal stuff with strangers.”

This is one of the most common concerns we hear - and we get it. Vulnerability isn’t easy, especially in families of wealth where discretion and privacy are often deeply valued.

But here’s the truth: Our peer groups are designed to be safe, structured spaces. You control what you share. Many participants start out hesitant and end up forming deep, lasting connections - not because they overshared, but because they were met with empathy and understanding. It’s not about confessing. It’s about relating, and rarely can we find such a safe group of others who get it. 

2. “I don’t have time.”

Busy work schedules, full calendars, your cousin's wedding. We hear you.

But what if a peer group is the one thing that could help you move more intentionally through it all?

These sessions aren't just one more meeting to add to your calendar. They're designed to support your life - to help you integrate your personal decisions, relationships, family expectations, and transitions with more clarity. Investing a few hours each month can save you years of confusion and stress. 

3. “I don’t need this - I’m doing fine right now.”

Sometimes, the biggest barrier is pride. Or comfort. Or the belief that if something isn’t broken, why fix it?

But these groups aren’t about fixing. They’re about strengthening your voice, your sense of self, your understanding of your family, and your future. Even those who feel confident often uncover new perspectives, tools, and ideas that shift how they move forward and help them prepare for what's around the corner.

4. “I’m not like everyone else in the group.”

Whether you're the youngest, the only sibling, the one who knows very little about your inheritance, or someone who just thinks differently, you might worry you won’t fit in.

But the difference is exactly what makes peer groups valuable. You bring something no one else can. And what we’ve seen, time and time again, is that when peers from different backgrounds connect over shared experiences, the results are powerful, and those feelings of isolation disappear.

5. “I don’t want to be labeled.”

We understand the fear of being put in a box, especially if you’re part of a family where expectations are high or just generally because wealth is a sensitive topic.

Peer groups at In Three Generations are about breaking those labels down, not reinforcing them. You are not a stereotype. You are a person. And in our groups, we work to see and support all of you: not just the wealth, not just the role you were born into, but your values, goals, and voice.

Final Thought:

Growth rarely happens alone.

Whether you're navigating identity, preparing for leadership, or just trying to figure out where you fit... you're not the only one. A peer group will give you a space to explore those questions with others who understand.

If you’ve felt the nudge to join but something’s holding you back, maybe this is the sign you needed.

We’re here when you’re ready.

Make sure to fill out a peer group interest form to hold your spot here: https://9gk4m7li.paperform.co/